Rose Petals and White Horses
by southernrebel96
Summary: 1st fanfic, thought i should give it a try: Dimitri leaves Rose, thinking he can protect her, but does he succeed? rated M jist to be sure...
1. Chapter 1

**RPOV:**

Dimitri was convinced it was wrong, immoral even to be with me. He said he would always love me? Right, that's why he pushes away, I still love him but I have convinced myself to get over it. I still have to train with him, but somehow manage to keep it professional. How? I really have no clue. However, I am back to my old ways. I don't think there is a party I am not aware of anymore. Deep down I still look after Lissa but everyone just thinks that I don't give a rip.

Right now we are walking across campus to a party in some royals dorm. It was me lissa, Christian, and Adrian. Adrian and I, we weren't dating just more like we had moments of weakness where we didn't want to be shunned anymore. Tonight, I was wearing a strapless black dress, much like the one I had on the night of the lust charm, but this one was shorter if even possible.

"Little dhamphir, I believe you have just about everyones attention on you tonight." Ahh Adrian, always stating the obvious. I just smirked as a comeback. "Behave and play nice" ordered Lissa in my head while laughing and grabbing Chris's hand.

We arrived and Adrian was quick to get drinks. Soon all of us were more than a little drunk. At that moment guardians busted through the doors. "Dam" I slurred. I looked down out of the window and was just about to make my great escape when two strong arms wrapped around my waist and I smelt the all too familiar aftershave that always gave him away. However, in my drunken state there was no way I could beat the Russian god. I looked back into the room and sighed, relieved none of my other companions were unlucky enough to get caught. Dimitri grabbed my elbow and drug me out of the room. As we passed Alberta she nodded and gave me a sad knowing smile. I guess comrade was dragging me back to my room for another "Zen Life Lesson". Upon arriving at my dorm he pointed to the bed for me to sit.

"No thanks comrade, for once I'd rather not be treated like a dog. But thanks for the offer anyways." I said smirking.

"Rose, do you want to get expelled? You're ruining your chances with the princess. I thought you could handle the seriousness of this situation! What happened to you rose?" he yelled, finally reaching his breaking point. I didn't know whether to be pissed or satisfied. I chose to be pissed.

"What happened to me? You can stand there and ask me that? REALLY? You that's what freaking happened! Is that what you wanted to hear? Is it? 'Cause it's the truth!" I screamed." You were to embarrassed to be out in public with me or maybe I was just a play toy for you! Was that it? Huh? 'Cause I sure as hell don't know!"

I quickly turned away wiping tears I hoped he hadn't seen. "Roza…" he trailed off. I turned back to see his face. His eyes held pain and guilt. "Rose, you know it's wrong for us to be together. Believe me when I say I'm taking Tasha's offer to protect you" he pleaded "I love you Roza and this is the only way I know to do right by you." With those words he turned and to leave my dorm taking my heart with him.

"DIMITRI!" I screamed, dropping to my knees, looking after him. "Comrade, Please!" I begged, my voice cracking. He stopped walking but didn't turn around. I began to hope he would come back. The slowly, ever so slowly he opened the door and walked out of my life forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**SRY! this ones short, between training my horse for barrels, homework, volunteering, drama, and just life in general i havent updated... though there really is no excuse...**

**SR**

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"Dimitri! Comrade please!" she screamed, her voice breaking. I stopped, my resolve wavering. No, I knew leaving was what was best. Is tarted walking down the hallway again. Tomorrow I would be leaving with tasha, I had told her everything, that I love rose and I would be her guardian and friend but nothing more. She understood and thought I should stay with rose but I decided to leave anyway.

"Dimka" I turned to see Tasha walking towards me. "we need to leave early in the morning, I hope that's okay?" she asked. "yes " I answered coldly. "You told her." It wasn't a question. "I'm sorry Dimka" she said enveloping me in a hug. It wasn't like mine and Roza's embraces but it was nice to have a friends comfort. Just then Adrian Ivashkov rounded the corner and wolfe whistled. I glared while Tasha blushed.

"Adrian, its not what you think." she explained. Adrian raised an eyebrow like rose wished she could learn how, and said " mmmmm hmmmm right, good night Natasha, Belikov," he said with a respectable bow and a wink at Tasha he walked off. "Good night Dimka. See you bright and early." She said obviously trying to cheer me up. I offered a small, strained smile, and mumbled something close to "good night".

I walked back to my room for the last time. My things were packed soon and I was left to look around at my empty room. I felt something warm slide down my cheek. A tear I realized. I sat on the edge of the bed and started to remember: when I first saw Rose, in Portland, the trainings, the feel of her hair, the night of the lust charm, our stolen kisses and before I knew it I was sobbing. I got up and changed into a pair of workout pants and slowly crawled into bed. I knes it was useless, but tried to sleep anyways, knowing I would need it tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Still kinda short but maybe I can UD again tonite... so idk know if this story is really that good or where its goin LOL but for now i will continue.**

I pushed the stake further into the strigoi's heart, effectively killing him. Two years, it had been two years to this day. The day Dimitri officially walked out of my life. I was heartbroken; hell if I'm being honest I still love him. But two years has changed a lot. I work for the royal court. That's right for, not at. After the queen was murdered, Lissa soon took the crown. She knew that after what happened with Dimitri I would never be able to settle down. So she gave me a job close to what I guess oyu would call a tracker. The first at that. I go out weeks, months at a time and kill all the strigoi I can. So far I have 18 molninja marks and 4 battle stars. My mother and I have gotten somewhat closer. I met my father Ibriham. Also known as Abe or Zmey. Lissa and Christian are expecting that first. Eddie and Mia are together which surprised no one. Adrain finally found someone that loves him no matter what. Her name is Kaitlyn and is Adrian's guardian. We have grown close and train together when I am at court. It sometimes gets lonely when everyone has a certain someone but I guess I'm just to pathetic to move on. It hurts like hell even now to think that he left…..

I sigh. Plane rides are always so boring. After going hinting this morning I packed my things and decided to surprise Lissa and come back a little earlier than planned. Her little one should be due soon anyway. So now I sit here, staring out the window, onto the world and think….. I got a tattoo sometime back. It was on my right wrist. It was love written in Russian. Cheesy? Maybe but it is the only thing that still connects me to him. That and all my memories. There was a time I tried forgetting everything but now I just allow myself to think of him when I'm alone, or times like now….. Before long I drift into unconsciousness with a sad smile on my face and a lone tear rolling down my face.

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**uhmmm so Review i guess LOL**


	4. Chapter 4

**Once again sorry for it taking forever with the update but life seems to keep me busy:) this ones a little longer, you can thank my math class for that ;)**

RPOV:

As I walked through the front gates of the court I let out a sigh. I made my way to the queens chambers, when suddenly I was practically tackled with a hug. I knew who it was with the all too familiar raven black hair and slim moroi body. The person who, whether she knew it or not, ruined my life. Natasha Ozera. However, I could not hate someone who was always so nice. Immediately I noticed a slight bulge on her stomach. That's when I knew she had caught me staring and she got excited.

"Rose, how are you? Lissa told me you were a tracker now! Why did you quit being her personal guard? I didn't think you would be here till later this month" suddenly she lost her smile. "I didn't think you would be here till later this month" she repeated.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. One questionat a time" I laughed nervously. She just gave me a pointed look. I got the hint. "I'm good as I'll get, I didn't want to settle down. What about you? And it seems like you have a little one on the way as well…." I hadn't seen tasha in a while but when I did HE was never there. Lissa never told me anything related to him and for that I was grateful. However, now I was curious.

"Yes! I'm good and so is this little guy."

"Well congrats. I will see you around I guess, but I need to check in with lissa."

"Oh! Of course."

Without a backwards glance I hurried off. It must be his, it had to be. He left me for her after all. By now I was almost there and decided to slip my mask on and forget everything. I slammed the doors open and bowed to my queen. Best friend or not I still had to be respectful. I herd her gasp. I guess I looked a little worse than I thought. Fighting regularly takes a till on oneself.

"Rose! Oh my gawd what happened to you?" She asked running towards me and smothering me in a hug. Upon looking up I found myself looking into a familiar pair of brown eyes. My guardian mask slipped and my glare turned icy. Hurt flashed in his eyes. Suddenly Lissa who had been watching our exchange spoke.

"Rose, Dimitri has come back to guard me since John's passing" she said with a look of grief. She had to be kidding, though from the look on her face she was dead serious. Over the years I have matured so I sucked it up and slipped my perfectly practiced mask into place once again and nodded my respect, though I had none, to GUARDIAN BELIKOV.

"Well, your majesty I just came by to tell you 7 of our red eyed friends are gone. If you will your majesty, I have to get settled." And with that I turned on my heal, leaving a shocked Lissa and Dimitri

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DPOV:

I thought of Roza everyday since the day we left the academy. I had herd of an attack not long after and I was frantic, searching for any update there was. I had to know if she was okay. Tasha was constantly pushing me to go back. But there was a reason I left in the first place. I usually don't like to think about it but the plane ride to court was a long one. I immediately requested to become lissa's guard after I herd the news of a royal guard's passing. Shockingly came the news of my teammates: Petrov and Castile. No Hathaway. Once I land I am determined to find out where my Roza is.

_In queen's chambers:_

I walked through the doors and immediately bowed. "Queen Vasilisa…."

"Guardian Belikov its lissa. Please. And I'm sure you have questions." She said with a pointed look.

"If you don't mind lissa, and its Dimitri please."

"Of course Dimitri." She looked at the other guards. "You may leave" As soon as the guards were out of the room lissa's gaze became sorrowful.

"Before you ask, she said she couldn't settle down. She was restless. She wanted to serve me but I could tell she needed her space. Especially after she started taking the darkness. That was around the time of the attack on the academy. She was grieving and at the time I thought it was over Mason but soon found out the truth. It was over you. I have never seen someone affect her that much before. Then I knew she could never be happy being my shadow. I know that she loves me, but I love her and knew forcing her to guard me was a hell of a way to repay her. So when I took over as queen I made a new position for her. Rose has become the royal courts first tracker in history. She still hurts but I know by moving from city to city helps with the restlessness. Without you I don't think she will ever get rid of thee hurt. I understand if you don't feel the same and I won't force you to love her or even like her. But you will respect her. She should be coming home some time within the month to see the little one being born. I like you Dimitri, and your good at what you do, but I know you being here will hurt her. However, you will now be my personal guard."

I sat there, not knowing what to say. How could she think I didn't love Roza? My whole world revolved around her and I haven't even seen here for years. Finally "I do love Rose. I left her so I wouldn't be a distraction to her. I knew how much she had wanted to be your guardian and how much she had worked to get there."

"Well, she did, but she's not anymore is she? Though I understand why you did it, it was still stupid." All I could do is look down in shame. Guilt overwhelming me as the true consequences came crashing down on me.

"Now, are you settled in? Because I would like you to start since I've been down a guard since I lost John." I nodded and took my place against the wall.

All of a sudden the doors burst open. The woman behind the action bowed. She had dark brown hair, almost black. She was short and curvy in all the rite places. She looked a younger than me. She reminded me of my Roza. Lissa gasped. She was pretty beaten up, not the worst I've seen but it didn't look that good either. Suddenly the queen ran to the girl.

"Rose! Oh My Gawd what happened to you?" She practically squealed as she smothered her in a hug. However, I stiffened from my position on the wall. She had said Rose…. The girl then looked up and I found myself drowning in familiar brown eyes. Her masked slipped and her glare turned icy. My mask then slipped, showing hurt for only a moment.

"Rose, Dimitri has come back to guard me since John's passing" Lissa said with a quick look of grief. Suddenly Roza's face turned blank, the all too familiar mask all guardians wore. She nodded respectfully in my general direction.

**"Well, your majesty I was just came by to tell you 7 of our red eyed friends are gone. If you will your majesty, I have to get settled." And with that she turned leaving me and Lissa shocked.**

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**Review please :) and i promise i will try to make updates quicker but basketball games are about to start so nooo garantees:)**


	5. Chapter 5

RPOV:

I stormed over to my apartment. Yeah, I permanently owned one thanks to my connections. As I was walking, I could feel my muscles starting to tighten, the soreness setting in. However, at the moment I was to pissed to care. NO, I was beyond pissed, I was livid, shaking from the anger and hurt coursing through me. So I changed into workout close, not bothering with the various cuts and bruises littering my body. I walked back out of the guardian housing and into the gym. I then proceeded to take my anger and hurt out on a punching bag.

I stayed in the gym for who knows how long. I finally felt the anger dissipate, leaving hurt in its wake. I tiredly walkied back to my room and took a shower, letting the warm water soothe my aching muscles. Just as I was about to drift off to sleep there was a knock on the door. I ignored it hoping to find the bliss of unconsciousness. However, with my eyes still closed I could feel a presence lingering over me. I slowly cracked one eye and just like that I was being crushed in a hug.

"Adrian. Can't. Breathe." He let go, laughing. "Welcome home little dhampir, long time no see." He said, however, clearly knowing he visited about once a week in my dreams. Then he started to notice the cuts and bruises on my body.

"What happened my little dhampir?" he said with a worried look. I let out a small chuckle.

"My… lifestyle, if you would call it, is a little rough" I said.

"Have you seen Lissa? She would surely want to heal you."

"Yeah" I replied feeling hurt once more. "Yeah, I saw her and her newest guard…" I trailed off as he realized what I meant.

"I'm sorry little dhampir, I really am. I don't know why he left but I am sure, as much as it pains me to say this, he still loves you."

"Adrian, that's bullshit and you know it. If he ever loved me he wouldn't have left nor Tasha be pregnant!" I said finally bringing up a topic I had wanted to forget. I watched as Adrian's eyes got big.

"You think that baby is his little dhampir?"

"No, I thought Tasha was asexual! Of course it's his you nitwit! Who else's would it be?" I all but screamed, feeling tears pool in my eyes. Adrian, obviously seeing the tears as well, wrapped me in a hug. Soon I was sobbing. I don't know if it was because I hurt all over or if seeing dimitri affected me this much.

As soon as the sobs died, Adrian pulled back to look at me in the face.

"Little dhampir, that baby is Tasha's newest guard's, Josh King." I let the information soak into my brain. "Oh" was all I could say.

"That doesn't mean you should forgive him, I'm just saying he still loves you." And with that I lied down and fell into a restless sleep.

DPOV:

"I'm sorry princess; it was my fault she left." I was stunned. She was even more beautiful htan I remembered. Obviously my memory served her no justice. She had grown into the beautiful young woman I had hoped to see forever. Suddenly I longed to wake up next to her every morning. It was dumb, for in out line of work two guards together were looked down upon. But seeing her again, after all these years, my love for her was overwhelming me. The princess looked up and I guess the love was obvious on my face.

"Dimitri, it wasn't your fault she would have found out anyway." I sighed as a reply. "Hay, how is Tasha and the baby?" Another reason I left my post as Tasha's guard was because her boyfriend, Josh King, wanted to guard her. She was happy with him, finally moving on when she saw just how in love with Roza I was. They were now expecting on of their own. So I decided to step aside and let Josh, who was more than capable, guard her. And if I was being honest, I don't think I could sit back and watch her and Josh have their happily ever after.

"They are excited." I said looking down.

"You want a family." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." I said automatically. Then I began to think. The only person I would ever want to have a family with would be Roza, even though it was impossible.

"But…?" she questioned.

"But the only person I want a family with, not only can't have kids with me, but she probably wouldn't want to anyway."

"You've never been one to assume things Dimitri Belikov." And with that guardian Petrov walked in to take over my guard.

I walked out into the midnight air. The court was buzzing, seeing as how it was the middle of the day for moroi. I decided to take a walk. When I reached the boundary of the wards I stopped. I was in a small field. Many moroi claim to have seen wild horses here before. I didn't know whether to believe this or not. Though I knew I certainly wouldn't see one, since most animals don't like dhampirs. I sat down under a big tree at the edge of the forest and began to think.

Would Roza ever take me back? Would I deserve it if she did? From what I heard I had done the one thing I never wanted to do. Hurt her. Suddenly I had the urge to scream. To yell. Hell even cry. I fisted a hand into my hair and sat there listening to everything happening around me. This far from the court itself, the air was peaceful. Before I knew it I was drifting into sleep.

I woke with a start, suddenly aware I wasn't alone. My eyes snapped open, my hand immediately going to the stake in my jacket pocket, ready to attack. However, I only found a horse. Now, in Siberia, growing up and training to be a guardian, I didn't have much time for pets. Even if they did like me. So, in a way, having this horse standing no two feet from me, had me wary.

But, upon looking over this massive creature, I found he was hurt. There were cuts and gashes all over his body, and a deep sadness in his eye. Slowly, I go to my feet to see if I could help him.

He looked at me cautiously before blowing out of his nose, turning on his hind quarters, and running off. I headed back to the court, the sun rising told me moroi were getting into bed. I thought of the strange actions of the horse, no animal has come that close to me before. About ten yards into the woods, I hear an anguished scream, and instantly knew it came from the horse. Pausing mid-stride for a moment, I walked into the court and up to the guardian housing. I quickly showered and put on a pair of pajama pants and fell into sleep once more.

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**ok sooo i know having a horse thrown in there was a little weird but i thought me being a horse person i would try it. let me know what you think. also, i am trying to make up for the lack of updates, though i do not know when the next one will be. hopefully sometime soon but no guarantees.:) hang with me though :) REVIEW! please **


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok so school is almost on break and next week we have early release so after that i should be able to update more :)**

RPOV:

Waking up early in the morning sucked. Yet for some reason I still do. I was currently walking to the gym for a run before heading to get breakfast. I ran 40 laps easy and walked to the locker room to shower. I had brought clothes and put my workout clothes in a locker reserved for me.

I walked to a coffee shop not far from the gym and ordered a hot chocolate. I sat at a table in the back corner, just watching everyone. At this time a morning there weren't that many people out and about yet. The door opened and in walked the two people I didn't want to see. Lissa and her _guard _Dimitri Belikov. Lissa quickly ordered anr took a seat, obviously not seeing me from my spot in the corner. Dimitri, however, being the guard he is, took in the whole room, stiffening when he saw me. I finished my drink and walked out from my spot in the corner. After throwing my cup away I turn to head out the door when Lissa calls out.

"Rose! Please wait. I need to talk to you." I wanted to tell her I would listen but at the same time I was still hurting. How could she expect me to just walk over to them and be okay with the fact that her new guard was the man who broke my heart? Speaking of, I flashed my eyes over to him to see him staring back. His hair was still the same length and that gorgeous brown color. His body looked muscled and his face like it hadn't aged. Realizing I was staring I flipped my attention back to Lissa who was looking in between us. I let out a sigh. Why not just get this over with.

So Lissa grabbed her coffee and we walked outside. I sit on a bench and stare straight ahead. Lassa sits down beside me and begins.

"I'm sorry Rose. He is a great guardian. Also, you need him Rose, more than I think you even know. And I talked to him yesterday." She said with a glance over her shoulder to where I would guess Dimitri was standing out of ear shot.

"He loves you. He left to protect you Rose. He thought he was a distraction. He regrets it soo much." She said. I could tell through the bond that she was being honest. I didn't know what to say.

"So you want me to just up and forgive him?"

"No, I'm saying give him a chance to prove himself." She said as if it were obvious.

"I want to say that I want to. And I do. I just don't want to get hurt again Liss. I cant go through that again." I said, close to tears once again. I didn't know what is up with me lately, but ive cried more in the last 24 hours than I have in 2 years.

We said our goodbyes and I quickly scurried off, but not before looking over my shoulder to Dimitri, who was looking at me longingly.

I made my way to a small clearing with a pond. I slid to the ground. I let myself think back to the Academy, memories I had stored away till now. Looking back I can tell the love was there. You could see it on his face, or in his eyes when even his mask was in place. Lissa was right, I need him. However, the fear of being broken beyond repair haunted me. I looked out to see the water sparkling. I hoped that my decision would be the right one for both me and Dimitri.

DPOV:

_I kissed her with all the love I had. Asking if I were enough. When she kissed me back just as fiercely, I knew she had accepted. I could taste the salt not only from her tears but mine as well. I sat back, still straddling her, taking in her beauty. I lowered myself onto her… _

**KNOCK! KNOCK!**

I sat up with a start and went to get the door. Standing outside I saw Castile wearing a slight smirk.

"I thought I would come by and tell you your shift starts in an hour. You'll be her personal guard again."

"Thank you" I said, my voice rough from sleep.

"Yep, Alberta should have your shedule ready after your shift. Just run by her." He said, then turned and walked down the hall. I shut the door and sat back down, thinking about the dream. The thought of her body underneath me instantly had me hard. I groaned. Damn this woman. I got up and turned on the shower, making sure it was cold. I slipped my pajama pants off and stepped under the cold spray, all thoughts of the dream instantly shot out of my mind.

I walked to Lissa's house, she and Christian live together. Moroi houses are located a little way from the hectic court but not to far that it won't be easy for guards to get there. I knocked on the door and Lissa immediately opened the door.

"Let's go get some coffee." She simply stated and walked off without waiting for an answer.

I followed. She reached the coffee shop seconds before me. As I walked in behind her, I took in the room, merely out of habit. However, as my eyes land in the back corner I stiffened. Roza. Lissa had yet to see her. Roza quickly finished her coffee and tried to hurry out before Lissa saw her. However, she didn't succeed.

"Rose. Wait I need to talk to you." I could see the indecision on Roza's face before hurt flashed across her face. She walked out the door and sat on a bench looking straight forward. Lissa followed. I however, circled behind them out of earshot, they disserved their privacy.

I began to get impatient though, just then Lissa looked over her shoulder at me, giving away the fact that they were obviously talking about me. They talked a while longer. When Roza stood up there were tears shinning in her eyes.

As they said their good byes Roza looked at me and our eyes locked. Then she trailed her eyes down my body, making me give a slight shudder. After that she turned and scurried off.

The feeling of her walking away from me was unbearable, it made me feel like dropping to my knees and calling out for her. But instead I stood tall with my emotions in check, like any royal guard should while Lissa carried on with her errands. When we reached her chambers I was relived by Eddie who gave me my schedule for the following weeks.

I went to the gym and purchased a locker. I ran 50 laps and proceeded to take all my anger and frustration out on a punching bag.

I walked to the shower, some odd hours later and got cleaned up before slowly making my way back to my room and falling asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.


	7. Chapter 7

**A little short i know but hopefully i can write some more over the week :)**

RPOV:

It was late at night (for moroi) and yet for some reason I was still awake. I looked out to see an overcast sky. December was at its beginning. I put on a hoodie and walked out side. There weren't many people out and about at this time. I sat on the edge a fountain, looking at nothing in particular. I saw a couple making their way slowly back to their house, laughing at something, shop owners closing up, and silent guardians standing in the shadows. While caught up in my observations, I hadn't noticed someone sitting down beside me. My body instantly was aware of who it was before I looked at him.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye to see his head in his hands, gripping his brown locks, that I love so much, like a life preserver.

Slowly I reached over and placed my hands on his, loosening his grip. He slowly lifted his head, our gazes locking immediately. Neither of us moved and I realized my hands were still on his. His grip suddenly tightened. "Roza" he murmured, his rough voice breaking. It was like all we could do was look at each other.

Tears began to pool in my eyes and I threw my arms around him. I knew I would regret it later but I needed to touch him and feel him. I could feel his breath hitch and knew he had begun to sob as well. Home, I realized. Anywhere in the world and all the places I have been would never be my home. No, my home was right here, in the arms of this man.

I needed more I realized, more of him. I looked into his tear filled eyes and knew he felt the same way. I stood, my hand still in his and pulled him to my room.

As soon as my door was closed his lips were on mine, needy but loving at the same time. I slid my hand up his shirt and over his chiseled abs. he let out a shuddering breath and lifted his arms while breaking the kiss only briefly. We continued until all our clothing was strewn on the floor and we showed each other just how much we loved each other.

We lay there panting and sweaty, my head on his chest. He began to run his fingers through my hair and down my back, softly lulling me to sleep. My last thought was that I was finally home.

DPOV:

_I woke up sometime close to the middle of the night. I knew I probably wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I walked out of my building and saw her sitting on the side of a fountain, staring at nothing and everything. She looked deep in thought so I silently sat down beside her. I put my head in my hands and began to wonder why I would ever leave her. My fingers gripping hard onto my hair. _

_Suddenly I felt small hands that I instantly knew were hers, on mine, loosening their grip. I slowly lifted my head and locked my gaze with her familiar brown one. Neither of us dared to look away. I tightened my grip on her hands and let out a broken "Roza". I could see tears pool in her eyes and she threw her arms around me and I returned her embrace eagerly. I knew I would probably do something wrong but I just wanted to here. With her. Right now. _

_My breathing hitched and I began to sob, not caring who saw it. It felt like home, not even the feeling I had baia could compare to this. It was… safe. She looked into my eyes and right then I knew she needed me just as much as I needed her. She stood up and pulled me to her room. As soon as she closed the door, we were in a frenzy. I couldn't control myself, my lips immediately found hers. Her small hands slid up my shirt and over my stomach making me shudder. I lifted my arms, letting her discard my shirt. We continued like this and soon showed each other our love._

_Soon we lay panting, her head on my chest both settling down. I ran my hands through her hair and down her back, asking myself how I could have got this lucky. I smiled when her breathing evened out. Just as I to almost found the bliss of sleep my phone vibrated. I reached and flipped it open to find a text message from the head guardian. _

_**Guardian Belikov, I hate to inform you that you have been 1 of the 20 guardians chosen to go to St. Vladimirs. There has been another attack and the academy has called for back up. We have reason to believe that there maybe more. There are no guarantees that you will come back but seeing as you are new to court in the first place and Queen Vasilisa can get more guards you are picked. You are to meet at the airstrip in 1 hour exactly. I'm sorry to tell you this however it must be done.**_

_I felt a tear roll down my face… I picked up my clothes from their pile on the floor. When I was clothed I walked back over to the bed and looked at Roza. She had a slight smile on her beautiful face. We could have worked things out, gotten together. But no, life seemed to have other plans. She would probably think I just wanted to have sex. I sighed. I only had one hour before I had to be at the airstrip._

~d~

Tears slid down my face as I thought about last night. I was sitting in one of the courts jets some thousands of miles over the world. I was not the only one who left lovers and friends and I wasn't the only one in tears. We all knew not every one would be coming back, seeing as another attack was predicted. I thought back to the letter I wrote Roza. Seeing as how it was dark and day time for us, she surely would have gotten it by now. I hoped she could forgive me. I back to earlier on the flight, when we were crossing some mountains near the court. I had seen a lone white figure standing on a cliff. I knew how he feels. A few more tears leaked out as we flew over St. Vladimirs to land, the place where everything began and the place where everything may end.

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**So i decided not to put my really badly written *lemon* in so it was a little shorter than original. Review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**SOOOO sorry for taking forever. Tis the season has me busy :)))) I tried making this one longer. Warning its kinda sad...**

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RPOV:

Two months. Two long months since I woke up, alone. Looking out of the window as the sun was beginning to set, I realized just how cruel the world could be. I knew it had killed Dimitri to leave. His tear stained letter told me that much. I looked down at the folded piece of paper in my hands and knew I didn't have to read it to know what it said.

_Dear Roza, _

_I'm sorry to say this but I must leave. Before you jump to the conclusion that I used you, I didn't I swear to it. I have always loved you. I hope you saw that last night. However, I have been sent to St. Vladimirs. There has been another attack. I can't promise you that I will make it back but if I do I promise I'll explain everything. I hope you can forgive me._

_Dimitri_

Little did he know he didn't just leave me behind, but also someone else. A week or two ago, I started feeling sick which is rare for a dhampir. I went to the doc and was given some shocking new. I am pregnant. Apparently being shadow kissed had something to do with it. Lissa has prohibited me from fighting. I mean I can understand but still that was really what I did all the time. Speaking of the queen her baby girl finally made her debut in the world. She had Ozera eyes and Dragomir hair.

Anyway, we couldn't contact St. Vladimirs unless there was an emergency, in case strigoi were watching the lines to see when our guardians would be moving.

Just as I thought that, I herd screams. I slid the note in my jeans and grabbed my stake while rushing out the door. I did not however, expect what I found when I looked around. Strigoi. Everywhere. They had planned on us sending guards to the academy, across the country and attacked when we weren't as fully protected.

I quickly checked the bond. Lissa was in her chambers, though she was still a guard short. _They Come First._ I raced to Lissa just as four strigoi launched their attack on her. Alberta, Eddie, and I tried to take them and we almost succeeded. I finished one off and went for the remaining one. Automatically I went to offense and rained down punches and kicks, trying to get an opening. He tried to reach out and grab me and I ducked, going in for the kill. Before I knew what had happened, I was pressed against him and he grabbed my staking arm, careful not to touch the silver and before I could process it he pulled my arm towards us. This caused the stake to plunge into my lower stomach. He let go screaming but I couldn't be bothered with what his problem was at this moment. I placed my hands on my stomach and sank to my knees. No, this couldn't happen. Not now. Not when everything was beginning to come back together. "Dimitri…." Was all I could murmur before blackness surrounded me.

DPOV:

There were no attacks in the two months I have had to stay here. I don't know whether to be glad or worried. I was sitting in my room wondering when we would go back. I wanted, No, needed to see Roza. At that moment my phone rang.

"Belikov"

"There's a meeting. Report to the guardian building immediately."

I shut the phone and took off. I hoped this was the news I was waiting for. So we could finally go back. Almost all guardians had been replaced so we were just here for backup. As I walked into the room I was hit by a feeling that told me this wouldn't be good news. Only Hans seemed to know what was going on.

"I have called you all here to say we will be going back to the court immediately. There has been another attack."

It seemed like every face in the room paled at the same time.

"I suggest packing quickly. We take off in 30." And with that Hans walked out, face grim, leaving all of us staring. I was the 1st to jump up. My movement must have broke everyone out of their trance because suddenly the room was a flurry of bodies trying to find the nearest exit. I ran to my room, my heart pounding with fear. Not for me. No my fear was for Roza. I slammed the door open, grabbed my duffel bag and began to sling clothes into it. 20 minutes later I was standing on the airstrip waiting to board.

The fly back was excruciating. Not knowing what was happening was killing me.

We landed and ran out to find Janine Hathaway finishing off the last strigoi, leaving blood and destruction the only thing left. When she looked up and caught my gaze she gave me a look of grief and ran in the direction of the infirmary. I followed quickly, knowing something was wrong.

When we arrived I found Lissa and Christian, along with a little pink bundle of blonde hair. Janine held the child while Lissa sobbed into Christians shoulder. Christian nudged her, alerting her to my presence. She looked to Christian and he pulled away from her and motioned me to follow him down the hall. We were met by a doctor. At that Christian gave me a sympathetic looked and walked in the direction we came.

I looked at the doctor and she sighed.

"Belikov, I'm presuming?"

"Yes" I confirmed warily.

"I gather you have been gone the past few months?"

"Yes" once again. I was really wishing she would get to the point.

"Then I guess I should start from the beginning. A few weeks ago Rose came to me asking for flu medicine, saying she felt sick. It turned out she didn't have the flu after running some tests. She was pregnant. Being shadow-kissed gave her the ability to have children with dhampirs. She couldn't wait to tell you."

I sensed there was something she wasn't telling me.

"But" I urged.

"But all her life 'they come first" was drilled in her head. When the court was under attack earlier today she knew Lissa was a guard short. She showed up and helped Petrov and Castile take down four strigoi. It was the fourth and the strongest that got her. She had almost staked him when he grabbed her arm and plunged the stake into her lower abdomen."

I sat there absorbing everything. With each word she said my heart broke more than I thought humanly possible. Pregnant. That one word echoed through my mind. I had left not only Roza but our child.

"She will be very lucky to survive the next 24 hours."

"There's something you're not telling me." I said stating the obvious.

She took a deep breath before continuing. "She lost the child. Not only that but the region the stake pierced effected her ability for reproduction. She will never have kids."

That was like icing on the cake. It sealed the deal.

"Is she awake?" I asked barely able to keep my voice under control.

"No, but your more than welcome to see her." With that said, I stood and began looking for her room. As I walked down the hall I imagined what she would look like. I looked through one door and immediately froze. It was worse than I imagined. She looked so frail and weak. She was pale and had bags under her eyes. It pained me to see her hooked up to the wires and machines. It scared me. I walked slowly to the edge of her bed and sat in a chair pulled to the edge. I lowered my head to her small hand and took it in mine and began to cry silently.

I woke to the sound of voices.

"Let him rest. He looks horrible."

"Don't you think he would be more comfortable in a bed?"

"No, you would be hard pressed to drag him away from that bed."

I herd a sigh and footsteps followed by the door closing.

_She was standing there by the broken tree, her hands were all twisted, she was pointing at me_

I slowly lifted my head, hoping she was awake. She wasn't. Just then Hans walked in.

"Belikov. I hate to take you away but this is your job." He sighed. "You are being sent to Turkey. A moroi with high influence wanted you as another guard and managed to pull some strings. You leave when the sun rises so you have around 3 hours."

I stood up fast. "You can't take me from Rose."

"Yes I can. And I will. That or you won't have to worry about guarding anyone else. EVER." He turned on his heel and walked out, leaving me standing there.

_I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes. She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky._

Could life ever be simple? Would I always be taken away? I dropped my head in defeat and walked to the bed. I lent down and kissed Roza, willing her to wake up, to let me explain. I nuzzled the side of her face, almost like you would see some animal doing, trying to wake another. It wasn't working.

I gave up. Right on that very spot I gave up and the tears I had pent up came back threatening to spill. I turned swiftly on my heel, my duster flowing behind me, taking one last look at Roza and walked out, leaving my heart behind.

I passed Lissa and Christian on the way out.

"Where are you going! What are you to afraid to face her when she wakes up!" she yelled at me.

"I'm going to Turkey." I said in an eerily calm voice.

"You What?" Lissa suddenly grew quiet.

"Turkey. I am going to Turkey to guard a moroi. I don't know if I'll ever be back." I said holding back sobs.

I walked through the woods hoping I was going in the right direction. Just then I stepped into a clearing.

_She said 'Walk on over into bitter shade, I will wrap you in my arms and you'll know you've been saved'_

I looked around and sat down under an all to familiar tree. I let everything out then, sobs racking my whole body. Through my tears I could see a lone white form walking towards me. I looked up into wise eyes that seemed like they had seen far too much for one lifetime. If I didn't know better I would think he himself had tears in his large brown eyes.

He lowered his head into my hands before looking me directly in the eye. 'Yeah', I thought 'I know how it feels bud.'

I got up and walked back to my room and grabbed my one duffel bag someone had been kind enough to bring before heading off in the direction of the airstrip.

_Let me sign, Let me sign  
_

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**Don't know when i'll be able to UD again so Merry Christmas and Happy New Years :))) just in case. the song in italics is let me sign by Robert Pattinson. i dont know if i did a good job on this chapter but i decided to try an add a song in there. Not sure if the lyrics are exactly right, there were tons of different ones LOL. Review :)) i like to know people actually read my story :))))**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sry for the wait, i hope everyone had a great holiday season :)) I am currently trying to UD my other story, though this southern snow is rare and i jus gotta play in it ;) If you havent already please take a look at my other story . It's pretty good, in my opinion. LOL. I will try my best to UD King Of The Fairies, those who read it as well, and school is out 2morrow so i may have time :)), ANYWHO...**

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I woke with a bright light in my eyes. The whole room was that damn off white color. Well shit.

"I'm glad your awake." Said the doc whose name I can never remember. "Can I…" was al I could manage to say before she cut me off. "Yes, but I have news…" she trailed off.

I walked outside, feeling numb. Liss immediately spotted me and talked me in a hug. She looked at me in pity. "Where is he Liss?" I asked. She looked away.

"Turkey." I sputtered slightly.

"Turkey? Does he… know?" She nodded, answering both of my questions.

I packed my things. Lissa had known that I was leaving and made me promise to visit soon. I had herd of attacks in Greece, so I jumped on the first flight. I was now over some ocean. To say I was on auto pilot was an understatement. I doubted I would ever see Dimitri again.

I found an okay hotel to stay in for now and got dressed. I was in a short black dress that ended well above my thighs. My boots were tall so I put my stake in there. I looked fine and I knew it. I smirked; I was determined to have fun for the rest of my life. I didn't dare about consequences.

I walked into the club, head high. I quickly spotted several strigoi lingering in the shadows. However, I did not expect the two dhampirs. They looked to be about my age. I walked over to get a closer look, unpromised. I sighed.

"Need some help?" I asked, knowing they were scouting for strigoi. They turned around, shocked. If they were shocked before, they were stunned when they saw me. I gave my signature smirk. The taller one spoke. He was pretty fine himself. With broad shoulders, from the way his shirt hugged him I would say a six or eight pack, and tone thighs. The other, only slightly shorter than the other had sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, unlike the other's green jewels. He was leaner than the other, though just as good looking.

"Help from you would be appreciated any day." He said throwing a wink towards me. I chuckled, still feeling a slight ache in my chest. The three of us danced for a little, trying to act normal, watching the demons the whole time.

They made their move. They lured two girls into a back alley way. We followed them silently. We barely made it out before they sunk their disgusting teeth into the human girls. We killed them easily. Walker, the tall one and Paul turned to me.

"So, is this the last we'll see of you?" He asked. I thought about it. I didn't want to be alone for the rest of my life. The thought of companionship was too good to turn down and soon we were all headed to my hotel to pick up my clothes, before returning to their rather elaborate hotel room. They showed me my room and I thanked them. I changed, not really caring that my night outfit was nothing but a pair of baggy shorts that usually hung off my hips and I tank. I walked in to see Paul in only jogging pants while Walker only had boxers on. I rolled my eyes. GUYS. I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. I bent over, looking for anything, when I heard Walker let out a wolf whistle. I snorted and picked up an apple from the counter and chomped into it.

Life began to fall into routine with the two of them. I missed Dimitri with a passion still, but after a few months the ache dulled into a reminder of what a perfect life would be like, if mine wasn't devoted to someone else or another race entirely. We would wake up around noon, mess around, get ready, hit some club, kill strigoi, and stay up till the early hours of the morning and crash. The cycle would repeat itself. We would travel from town to town, country to country, not caring really, as long as we traveled. I had found that Walker's moroi girl left him, for some royal, claiming "It was a once in a life time chance" and that "She was sorry". I felt bad for him really. Paul had had a girlfriend but walked in on her with another dhampir. So they left, a month before graduation.

Walker and I fooled around, but we were nothing more than two people, trying to fight off the ache from a past love. It hurt, knowing Dimitri was some where in the world, without me. He could have moved on, found some one who could give him a family, unlike me.

As it was, we were all traveling to the court. We had been summoned by the queen. Liss said she had someone for me to meet. Knowing her it could be anything. She said she wanted to meet the two people who have kept me stable over the past few months.

We arrived, late as always. Seeing as it was late summer now, I was dressed in very short shorts, and a spaghetti strap tank. Call me slutty but it's hot. Of Walker approved, as always. My companions were dressed in light wash jeans and a work out tank. All of our belongings were in our backpacks, slung across each of our shoulders. I looked around, remembering the attack. I closed my eyes, before opening them again and continuing. Walker slung an arm over my shoulder and whispered in my ear.

"Don't worry gorgeous, you'll be okay." I gave a half smile and we continued on our way. When we were close to Lissa's chambers I herd a smaller voice. We all walked in to find Liss talking to the cutest little thing ever. She was a small child; I would guess 4 or 5, with blond curls and blue eyes. I looked up at Liss.

"Rose, I would like to introduce you to Kylie. Kylie this is the tracker I was talking about."The girl ran over to me and hugged around my legs. Suddenly, as if she just remembered what she did, she stepped back, blushing and mumbled an apology. I squatted, so I was her height.

"It's quit alright." I said offering her a smile. Liss spoke.  
"However Kylie, I need to talk to these three. I will see you later tonight at the house." Kylie nodded and bounded off and out the door. I gave Liss a curious look.

"There was an attack on a house not far from here. The mother and father were killed; a moroi child was the only one left. I'm thinking of adopting her Rose. She already loves little Kelsey." I looked away, not liking the fact that I was jealous of my own best friend, for having something I would never be able to have. "Are you asking my permission?" I said, hating that I sounded so bitter. She obviously knew that I didn't mean to hurt because she brushed it off. "I don't know, just you opinion I guess."

"It sounds great Liss, that girl deserves a family and you and pryo are a good one to raise her, even with one of your own. O and by the way, the two jackasses behind me are Walker," I motioned to my right, "And Paul." I motioned to my left. They grunted at the name but bowed. Lissa's eyes shot to mine when she saw they weren't promised. "Personal problems." I answered when she asked through the bound why they didn't have the mark.

"Well Walker and Paul, I would be honored to assign to more court trackers if you would serve us, if not I would understand." Their eyes widened at the offer and they turned to stare at me. I chuckled. "It's not my decision to make. You report once in a blue moon back to court to receive your marks. But besides that you live like we have been." They nodded.

"Well how many have you killed?" Liss asked. "12" Walker answered while Paul answered with "10". I rolled my eyes. "Rose, what about you?"

"Hmmm? O 3, the guys did most the work." I said as I threw a wink at the others.

"Well, ya'll will get your tattoos tomorrow. I don't know how long your uhm boss plans to stay." I just shrugged as an answer. We left shortly and walked to the apartment we would be sharing now. We were almost to the dorms when I herd a familiar voice, one I though I would never hear again. I quickened my pace and the guys followed pursuit. I came to a halt when I saw what lay before me.

Dimitri and some moroi I didn't recognize were laughing and smiling at one another, seemingly taking in the view of the fountain. It just happened to be the one Dimitri and I met that one night. I stumbled back a step. I had always had fears, but for them to become reality was just too much. Walker caught me as I backed into him. They recognized the Russian god and cast a worried glance at one another. I had held my sobs in check until he bent and kissed her, on the lips. The soft, gentle lips I loved, that weren't mine to love anymore.

I let out a strangled sob. The two lovers broke apart, startled and looked in our direction. Shock flashed over Dimitri's features. "You know her?" The girl asked. "An old friend, Ally." He replied. He spoke as if it had been years, not merely month since the last time I saw him. We all stood there staring. I with tears running down my face and Dimitri too shocked to say anything. Walker nudged me with his shoulder, only a slightly intimate gesture, but Dimitri's eyes narrowed anyway. He had no right! He was the one who had just been…. Been… all over that other girl.

I walked ahead, knowing I needed to show indifference. Walker and Paul flanked me. "Ally" just seemed down right confused. Hurt shown in Dimitri's eyes. He reached as if to grab me, but the girl took his hand instead. Every touch was like a knife, stabbing in my heart, and twisting. My eyes stayed on the ground, letting the tears fall freely. Finally, right before we walked into the building, Walker turned wrapped his arms around me, while Paul put a comforting hand on my back, knowing I needed comfort.

We made our way back to my apartment, though I honestly don't remember it at all. All I could think about was that smile on Dimitri's face when he looked at the girl that was almost his height, with auburn hair and jewel like eyes. A far cry from me, who was short, almost black hair and brown eyes. When I shut the door I slid down until I was sitting on the floor. He rarely smiled at me, and when he did it was only a brief smile not lasting long. I hadn't given him the happiness this girl had, nor would I ever. Walker and Paul squatted in front of me, each resting a hand on my shoulder.

"He was happy." Was all I could say before the sobs became unbearable, they made it hard to breath. Some one, I couldn't tell who, picked me up and toted me to my bedroom. I was asleep before I knew it.

I woke up, sweaty and panting. Hoping it was all a dream, but when I looked around to find I was alone, in my apartment, I knew it hadn't been. I sighed and went to get a glass of water. I changed into some of Walker's baggy shorts and a shirt ripped almost completely down the sides, with a sports bra underneath. I left a note telling them I went out, not wanting them to panic. I just walked around the court. It was daytime of course, well night for moroi and it was scorching. I found myself in a clearing, not far from the ward boundary. I herd a rustling and looked up; expecting to find someone, but my eyes only saw a large white horse. When I was a little girl I had always thought about what it would have been like to grow up human, to have animals like you. I expected him to run off but he simply walked up to me and stopped feet away from where I was standing. I reached a hand out slowly and he nuzzled my hand. It was so soft; it felt like the finest velvet. He snorted and bobbed his head. I laughed, for the first time since… I plopped down on my back and starred up at the sky. I herd a slow thud and looked over to see this large massive creature settled onto the ground right beside me.

I realized something then. He was alone, looking for companionship. Just like I had once, I had found it with Paul and Walker. Now, I would offer it to this massive creature. I sat up and lent against his body, finally seeing scares. I rubbed him in slow circular patterns, before it acted as a lullaby and I found myself in unconsciousness, beside a friend, but not my only one. Whatever twists and turns life threw at me, I knew I would have Walker, Lissa, Paul, and this big guy: Tempest.

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**SO tell me what you think please :))) luv reviews, also like i said before, if you havent already check out King Of The Fairies my other fanfic :)) Thank you everyone who has alerted, fav, reviewed this stoyry :) it means alot O a good song for this chappy is Ray Lamontagne's Jolene :))) It's REALLY good LOLz**


	10. Chapter 10

**So, this is the end, i hope this story was okay, it was my first :) It's sad to see it go but it'll make room for others. Along with the show...**

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I walked back to the apartment determined. I wasn't going to let this rule my life. It was still mid day for humans so the court was quiet. I locked the door behind me and made my way to Walker's room.

He looked so peaceful when he slept, he left his troubles behind. I felt my lip tremble and I laid next to him. He wrapped his arms around me in his sleep and it felt nice to know someone cared.

I woke and Walker's head was lying on my boobs. I snorted trying to hold my laughter back. I finally cracked and Walker began to open his eyes. When he noticed what his position was he shot up, eyes wide. That pushed me over the edge, tears falling from my eyes.

When I finally caught my breath and my laughter had died down to simple chuckles, Walker turned to me.

"May I ask as to why I have your wonderful company this morning?" His eyes widened in panic. "I wasn't drunk was I?" He then looked down to check for clothing. I laughed and shook my head before answering quietly.

"I couldn't sleep." I was suddenly interested in his dark blue sheets. He pulled me to his muscled chest and stroked my hair. Many people were afraid of him, with his black hair and stunning green eyes, but he had become my life preserver, the only thing that kept me afloat.

Suddenly I was kissing him, letting my pain and desperation leak into it. He kissed back with the same ferociousness. I stripped his t off, looking over his abs approvingly. I kissed his nipple and his head fell forward and he let out a moan. He yanked my shirt off along with the bra. Things escalated quickly and I wasn't alone for once.

Walker sagged above me, panting. He let all his weight on me, knowing I could take it. I didn't want to be babied right now and he knew it. He licked and kissed a spot he had bitten earlier and I knew it would leave a mark. He rolled off after a little while, pulling me onto his chest.

"I hear there's a good club around here. We should check it out. For once go party and not hunt." I thought about it and nodded. I think I would enjoy that.

After showering, I dried my hair and applied a little make up. I had on a deep purple dress. It ended quiet away up from my thighs. I was surprised my ass hadn't fallen out yet.

Paul, Walker, and I walked through the door. Paul immediately looking for a girl. Walker and I went to the bar and ordered a few shots and other alcoholic remedies. Soon we were both dancing. Walker behind me. I had one hand in his black locks while my other pushed his hips toward me. He had a light hold on my hips, squeezing when I touched a certain part.

The court was just beginning to get busy when the four of us came stumbling slightly in. Paul had found some moroi to shack up with for the night. Everything was fine until I ran into a guard; things never seemed to be easy.

"Guardian Hathaway?" He said, asking why I was drunk off my ass.

"If I do recall, I don't stalk someone around like their second skin. I have a life and currently I am on vacation." and with that I turned and pulled Walker to our apartment.

I awoke to quiet a bit of commotion. Someone slammed the bedroom door open and Walker and I both groaned in pain.

" wake up. There's been an attacked." Paul was screaming. I jumped up and rolled Walker out of the bed. We quickly dressed and ran through the door. My head was pounding but I tried to ignore it.

I whimpered as the strigoi I was currently brawling with smacked the side of my head. My palm flew out and broke the bastards nose, simply distracting him as I shoved the stake threw his chest. I quickly kicked him off, readying myself for another attack only to find one didn't come. I looked around to find dhampirs and stigoi alike lying motionless. Blood was everywhere and I suddenly thought back to the first time. Tears rolled down my cheeks and a pair of familiar arms wrapped around me, stroking my back. I sobbed into his chest and he picked me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in its crook. Walker sate in a chair in the conference room, whispering nonsense. I soon settled down and caught the look of pain in his eyes. When he spoke his voice was gruff while he held back emotions.

"Paul's in ICU. Allyson Garcia soon to be Belikov and her guardian Dimitri Belikov along with 13 others were taken to a hide out in a nearby mansion. No one else dares to go after them." His eyes held his unspoken question: Do you want to go? I nodded and we went in the direction of our apartment.

I went to my closet and pulled out a duffel bag of weapons. Guns would distract them. I pulled on black jeans and knee high boots. I slipped a gun holster over my black tank and pulled my leather jacket on. I had three stakes in my leg straps. I met Walker and we stalked to the garage. We got several odd looks but ignored them. Soon we were driving threw the gates of court in some one's really nice Lamborghini Gallardo. Dimitri deserved happiness and I would give it to him, even if it wasn't with me. It was all I ever wanted for him. I knew this was suicide but these people didn't deserve this. We pulled up to the gothic looking mansion and creeped out. It was dark another disadvantage. We split and I broke threw a window, immediately going into action. I staked one easily and with a few more blows the other followed. I creeped through the halls, taking strigoi out as I went. I soon came to a halt at the entrance of the ballroom. Walker, who just arrived here as well, cursed. Fifteen strigoi guarded the hostages. We were both exhausted. Every head turned our way and one of the creatures snarled something in a language I didn't understand. Eight made their way toward us while seven guarded the others. Soon Walker and I were in action once again. After taking the last down we lent against one another, trying not to look weak. I knew I had several injuries and looking at Walker he did to. Our breathing was labored. The stigoi stood smirking. Four broke off and came snarling at us. I realized a second to late they were trying to surround us. I fought off one while the others attacked Walker. I could hear his grunts as he tried to fend them all off. I finished the blonde off and turned just in time to see Walker stumble slightly and a black haired female go for the kill. She grabbed his neck as I ran forward. I jumped on her but she twisted, knocking me to the side as the light in Walker's eyes faded. The sound of his neck braking and the hostages screams bounced on the walls. I was faintly aware one was my own hoarse yell.

A pain cracked through my skull and ghosts attacked the Strigoi. I fell to my knees, holding my head. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was aware that the strigoi had left but the pain was blinding me. I recovered within minutes and, without looking at yet another lifeless body of a friend and lover, I dialed Lissa's number. I told her the coast was clear and to bring vans for every body. I scrambled up and stiffly made my way to free everyone. I was so numb I didn't see the looks of pity on their faces, or who they even were. After I freed the last I looked them over and noted none were drugged on endorphins. My gaze landed on Dimitri who was comforting a sobbing Ally. My eyes stung as I turned away. I wiped my blood stained hands on my jeans. She was weak. I had fought at-least a dozen strigoi and lost... A lot. But was I crying? Not in front of people. I herd vehicles approach and whistled to the others before walking out. I made my way to the Lamborghini and reached in the back for a spare shirt. Tears stung my eyes as I realized it was Walker's shirt. I slipped my bloody tank off before slipping his on. Hans walked to me before wrapping me in a hug. I finally let everything out, sobbing uncontrollably.

DPOV:

I watched Ally the entire time, not caring who had come to saves us. I couldn't lose someone else to these evil bastards. That was until I herd a familiar voice scream in pain. I looked just in time to see the black headed guy crumble to the ground and Rose fall to her knees, holding her head in pain. O Roza. Suddenly the strigoi began screaming and running frantically. Everything calmed down and Roza stood stiffly and walked over to us. It was then I saw the look in her eyes. The spark I had always known was gone. Even when she saw me with Ally she had her Hathaway attitude. This right now reminded me of Spokane. She made it after hat but I didn't know if she could recover twice. She didn't even seem to recognize me as she freed us. I scrambled over to Ally, while my concern for Roza rose. She began sobbing into my chest and I held here patiently. She wasn't use to this kind of thing. Not like Roza, who after everything that had happened remained cold and stoatic as she gazed out of the window. She whistled and walked to the exit. Everyone followed and we soon emerged into the light. I saw Roza go to a Lamborghini and strip her shirt off and slip another on. Hans approached her and wrapped her in a hug. I saw her shoulders begin to shake as she lost control and my heart twisted. Hans said something to Mikhail and Mikhail walked into the house. He emerged a few moments later with a body bag. I swallowed the lump in my throat. He and Roza had saved us, yet he had to give his life for it. I viewed him as competition to begin with but now, I felt guilt. Roza would once again be thrown to the world alone. While I did what? Married and had the family Roza couldn't give me? I felt like puking as Roza pulled back, wiping tears. Her eyes were still empty and it killed me. Over and over. Hans motioned to her ribs and I saw her nod and climb behind the wheel and driving off. Ally grabbed my hand, bringing me from my thoughts. I smiled down to her, even if it was a fake one, she didn't tell the difference. Only Roza could. We piled into one of the vans sent from the court and were on our way. I lent my head back and restrained from bursting into tears. What did such a goddess do to deserve this?

RPOV:

"He's what?" Paul screamed at me. I had told him everything. "Get out"

"Pa-"

"Get out" He said in a deadly calm voice. I nodded and turned, knowing I deserved it. I bumped into someone exiting a room and mumbled an apology. He turned.

"Thank you Roza. For everything." I nodded.

"You deserved it Comrade." My voice broke at his old nickname. I moved past him, though I knew he saw the tears make a trail down my cheeks. A part of me hoped he would reach out and take me in his arms. Tell me he loved me. But as I opened the door to the clinic I knew that had been our good bye.

I knew what I would do now. Walker's funeral was tomorrow. I would be forced to say good bye to another lover.

DPOV:

Ally had insisted on coming today. Saying he gave his life for us. So now I stood, overlooking the grave of yet another man, who not only was younger than me, but had die to preserve a single race. I saw Roza standing in the back. Her outfit surprised me. Black jeans, a tank, boots, and a leather jacket. Her hair tumbled down her back in waves, lifting slightly in the wind. The service was soon over and people began leaving. Roza made her way to the cliff, overlooking the ocean below. What she did next surprised me.

RPOV:

I looked down before turning to look at everyone. I had called Abe last night. I smiled slightly and tipped backward. I felt the air whirl around me and screams erupt from above. The cold water surrounded me. Everything went black.

DPOV:

I swear my mouth hit the ground. I screamed, as did many others. Ally squealed beside me. I stopped at the edge to see Roza hitting the surface of the ocean, a smile on her face. I slipped my mask on and took Ally to our house a court.

I starred as the news head line flashed on the TV. "Tracker suicide?"

"Yesterday, at a former tracker's memorial service, royal court tracker Rosemarie Hathaway jumped from a cliff close by. However, our investigators reported shocking news." It flipped to some cop.

"There was no body found within a 20 mile perimeter of the jump." My thoughts came to a stand still and I blocked everything else the idiot had to say out.

Now there was a question of doubt in everyone's head: Was Rose really dead?

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